What it is like to be adopted in China

发布时间:2017-02-18 17:42

I was adopted in China when I was 5 days old.
I  was passed to several families then finally settled down with this one.
I have a brother who is 4 years younger than me, so we are not a one child family.
I also know it was a long and difficult process to get my brother legal just because of me.
I didn't know I was adopted until I was 17.
That can be a difference from Chinese  adoptees in other countries.
You have to know since you are kids.
Most Chinese adoptee families will choose to not tell us the truth until they can't hide it any more, because obviously we look so similar that we alway looks like a family. I always thought my brother was adopted during my growing up,
because compared to my parents I look a lot more similar to my adopted parents. lol When I was 17, one day I was big time yelling and complaining to my grandma
with tears that my mom didn't give me enough attention and so I found out through grandma's tears that I am actually adopted.
That moment I was laughing with tears, I can't explain that emotion...
I started to call my best friends and telling them  the truth, it was a big surprise that all my best friends actually knew I was adopted
since I was a child,  including my brother.
He knew I was adopted since I was 10 and he was 6.
What a surprise.
He said that mom told him if he ever told me the truth,
mom will be very angry and will abandon him to keep me.
In China most of the parents do not like the kids to know they are adopted because 
1. they are afraid of losing them
2. they don't know how to build a relationship if we know we are not blood connected
It was very hard for me when I found out that I  am adopted. Also because I can't find anyone to talk to.
We don't have a group in China like what we have here, plus people seem to have sympathy for me,
but they have no understanding -  that did not help me build myself at all.
I use to hate people say to me. "oh you are so poor" "you are very lucky..." "wow,you can write a book"
"don't think about your birth parents, not worth it"....
I knew that they all trying to comfort me, but I still didn't feel that anyone  understood.
I can't talk with my adopted parents at all about my feelings, because they are  more sensitive than me.
The only thing I could do is pretend I don't know anything, and that nothing happened.


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